MY STORY

As a kid I had a great passion for design; I wanted to become an architect. I spent most of my time collecting and reading books about architecture and interior design. I inherently knew I wanted to create things in the world that looked good and made the people who had these creations in their life; feel good. I wanted to create something that inspired people to think differently and feel better about the world they are living in. 

Growing up on the Gold Coast, Australia, I was raised around people who didn’t value creativity. I grew up in a society that was also predominantly homophobic, racist, and misogynistic. I was ultimately taught that the aspects that exist within me, being a gay creative person, were not of value to people and were something people pushed away.  I knew that to get the things that I wanted or needed; I would have to make the people around me happy and give them whatever they wanted. I would bulldoze myself to make people happy.  I learned to become what people wanted me to be; instead of being the person, I am. To put things in short, throughout my childhood and teenage years, I was a depressed person who felt completely isolated from the world. No one knew the real me. I didn’t even feel that connected to friends or the people in my life who liked me; how could I ever feel connected to people who didn’t see the real me. Only the version of me I grew to become. 

When people don’t understand you, value you, or know how to capitalise on your best interests, you become incredibly unsafe. You attract people into your life who see you as a resource, not as a person. People who don’t care about the reality of who you are and what you have to offer. Much like I did, you often end up experiencing traumatic situations that store in the body like cells. You live through things that wound you, and you keep on pushing forward, trying to get what you want out of life. You keep moving forward, knowing the only way to get those things out of life you want is to do things for people who are ultimately hurting you.

All the hurt and trauma came to a climax in my life when I had a suicidal breakdown, where I was finally forced to look at the reality of my life. No one in the world cared about me because no one knew the real me. I had been hurt so many times by so many people in so many ways: which I took as confirmation that no one cared about me. The only times that it appeared that they did was when I was doing my best job pretending to be the person they wanted in their life, that person who wasn’t me. I have slowly and painfully learnt over time; that every time I bulldoze myself to progress in life, it backfires in ways that entirely consume and destroy me. 

I am so exhausted that I have no further tolerance for being hurt because I am already hurt. I have no choice but to move in the direction of what feels good to create in life for me and create things that facilitate healing for myself and others. This is the reason I am dedicated to being an artist today. I have no interest in doing pieces focused on realism or any existing technique. I am all about perspective. Art is nothing but perspective, and art at its best is about creating a perspective that has not yet been experienced or expressed. The best art is the creation of something new.

I am focused on offering art to the world that resonates with people instantly and evokes an emotional response. I want to create art that makes people feel good while also creating pieces that permit people to access their negative emotions. I want to motivate people to sit with their uncomfortable emotions, learn from them, and process them fully. People can be so scared of looking at the darkness in their lives and admitting it exists. It is crucial to motivate people to be more caring towards themselves and their emotions. Otherwise, people end up trying to hurt others to counteract the pain they have endured. This never works; it just leads to more suffering. 

If people want to be inspired or need to get away from the noise in their heads, I intend that they can use my art to tap into a different perspective. A perspective that provides a shift in how they feel and look at their lives. I love creating pieces that explore concepts that are somewhat childlike and are very imaginative. I make these pieces intending to help people lift their expectations of reality to attract things into their life that feel good and motivate people to think thoughts and take actions that are in the direction of what feels good. 

In contrast to this, I also create pieces of art that can be perceived as being quite dark. These pieces explore unpleasant and painful emotions. Most of these works of art were made when I was experiencing or revisiting traumatic memories to create a sense of resolution and healing. I create these pieces not to trigger or upset people. They exist to validate and relate to people experiencing negative emotional states. If you are not having a good time in life, it is my intention that these art pieces validate your perspective so you don’t feel so alone in your pain. I know very well from my own experience how suffering is amplified when you are alone in it. People tend to be a lot more suicidal when they don’t have access to people who validate their reality and emotions. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, I hope that my art is speaking to you in a way that demonstrates to you that you are not mentally ill and that there is nothing wrong with you. You are more likely to having a real and valid reaction to living through painful and traumatic circumstances. 

It’s almost impossible to create a life that feels good to live if you are unwilling to look at the reality of what your life is. I couldn’t create any healing in my life until I was forced to look at the reality of how lonely and in pain I was. I am over being part of a society that teaches people to numb and suppress negative emotions. These things don’t go anywhere when we do this. The trauma only grows and repeats itself in new people and situations. But if we are willing to feel these uncomfortable emotions and come to terms with reality; we can create something new, we can create healing, and we can create things in our lives that feel good. None of this can be achieved by bulldozing our emotions. 

I hope that through creating art, I can be of some contribution to healing people and motivating society to be conducive to the health and well-being of everyone. I want to create art that makes you feel good. I want to create art that permits you to process negative emotions if that is your reality. I want my art to be something that adds value to the world you are experiencing and allows you to see the value in the world you are experiencing.